It’s easy to gaze into the past and see things that you used to love as a child and to cherish them into adulthood because of your previous association and affection for them, but sometimes looking backwards in time through rose colored glasses doesn’t work. Maybe there are just some pieces of consumable media that, for whatever reason, you loved as a kid, but you grow up and realize that they’re absolute trash. Disney’s Blank Check is a perfect example of this duality of taste.
Blank Check, at its most stripped-down definition, is a film about a 12-year-old boy named Preston is given a blank check after his bike is destroyed. After doing the good, honest thing and forging the check to read $1,000,000, Preston has a ball spending the money until the gangsters he ripped off come looking for him.
However, what seems like a somewhat original premise is executed in the most paint-by-numbers, obscenely trite way onscreen.
The characters make absolutely no sense and their motivations are so muddled. Preston’s dad, for instance, is incredibly hard on the boy for not being an entrepreneur at 12 years old. His two older, meathead brothers have started their own business, but they don’t even know how to use a computer. Preston’s father lays on plenty of guilt for his lack of business savvy because, y’know, 12 year olds should be trading on Wall Street and shit.
Growing up, everyone knew someone who was regarded as a bit of a simpleton. His heart was in the right place, but he lacked the inherent brains to intelligently verbalize his feelings or relate with others. Whether you were a bully, a friend, or apathetic toward this individual, his moronic charm reached to your very core. For me, it was a kid named James Schwarzenbach who listened to the Toy Story soundtrack on his walkman and thought the word “pistachio” was profane, but that’s beside the point.
Forrest Gump is the story of a stupid man’s haphazard stumbling through three decades of tempestuous Americana. Rooted deeply in the pop culture that defined the era’s collective consciousness, the whimsical and sometimes contrived nature of Forrest Gump’s humble tale is aided greatly by Tom Hanks’ Oscar-caliber performance as the dim-witted titular character. Robert Zemeckis’ use of special effects and poignant narration draws up waves of unforgettable iconography and a taste of bittersweet nostalgia for folks who lived through this golden age.
Not completely mentally handicapped, Forrest Gump is a heartfelt character who is the perfect window to experiencing America as it stood between the 1950s and the 1980s. Gump’s innocence is palpable as he moves through each phase of his life, encountering and touching all of the characters he meets along the way.
If you’re tired of all of these movies that attempt to use plot and dialogue to move their story forward and instead want to rely on pure adrenaline badassery, then do I have the movie for you.
From the Arnold Schwarzeneggerian school of cinema comes one of the most heart-pumping films of all time–Speed.
I know, I know. It’s been quite awhile. Real life has been stealing me away from my nostalgic obsessions lately, and there’s little I can do to make up for it. I’m still invested in this site and everything it stands for, but the updates may be a little more spread out nowadays as work has been keeping me quite busy. The last thing I want to do when I come home is sit on the computer, so I’ll try to utilize the good old notebook more often and try to transfer the articles later. Thanks for your understanding. On to the show:
While there are plenty of serious 90s movies, the best ones are usually the most carefree and fun. While staunch critics may admonish such sophomoric humor, I’ve always felt that the more childish films were always the better ones. They didn’t have to rely on deep meaning, artsy cinematography, or even a properly-formatted script–they just worked.
Wayne’s World is a film about two young, stoner-ish wastoids who host a ratty cable TV show. Suddenly, their low budget antics grab the attention of an ambitious producer who wants to turn them into an overnight success, but the question is how will they cope with the highs and lows of fame, money, and limitless success?
Basically, the film had all the makings of a cult classic like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (one of my favorite films of all time, by the way), but it was headed by two stars from Saturday Night Live who propelled it to unprecedented international ticket sales and large profits.
Throughout the 90s and most of his career, Michael Jordan was (and continues to be) an icon of epic proportions. From the Olympic dream team to his success as a Chicago Bull to his endless merchandising, MJ was born to be a worldwide superstar. His influence knew no bounds and, after tapping out seemingly ever other avenue of revenue, he crossed over into the cartoon realm with his starring role in Warner Brothers’ very own cash cow crossover, Space Jam.
Space Jam is, by all accounts, a fictional retelling of Jordan’s retirement and subsequent reprisal of his role in the NBA. Released in 1996, the film utilizes the famous Looney Tunes characters like Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Wile E Coyote, and a vast array of other memorable cartoon characters to give an alternate reason for Jordan’s return to basketball.
A success in merchandising opportunity, video game adaptations, as well as box office sales, the film grossed over $230 million worldwide.
On a faraway planet, a group of aliens called the Nerdlucks must answer to their boss Mr. Swackhammer regarding the failure of his amusement park, Moron Mountain. As a means of increasing sales and exposure for his faltering investment, Mr. Swackhammer comes up with the brilliant idea of abducting the Looney Tunes to serve as a brand new attraction at Moron Mountain.