Tag Archives: Ninja Turtles

90s Product Review: The Technodrome

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90s moviesAt the height of their popularity, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ruled the world. From cereals to video games to international musical stage tours to snack cakes, there was no medium those green bastards wouldn’t infiltrate.

90s movies Their most successful foray of all, however, was into the world of toys. Hundreds of different figures were produced and some of them were even re-released recently for another round of children and nostalgically-geeky adults like myself to snatch up and cradle in sublime solemnity.

Despite all of the interesting characters like the Rat King and Mondo Gecko, it was the playsets that really reigned supreme. There was the aptly-named Turtle Van, their dingy sewer hideout, the Turtle Blimp, and many others that littered the carpeted floors of many a kid’s bedroom in the 90s. We can only imagine the amount of these awesome toys that were found by school cleaning services, left behind by kids everywhere.

90s movies90s moviesAll of that aside, those figures and playsets had absolutely nothing on the epitome of amazing Ninja Turtle toys. This wasn’t just a playset, this was a dream come true. This was the toy that marked many people’s most memorable Christmas morning ever. This was the most magical, inspiring piece of colored plastic ever to grace the shelves of a local KB Toys, Kiddie City, or Toys R Us. This was the one toy to rule them all. This was THE TECHNODROME.

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Top 10 90s Saturday Morning Cartoons

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Unlike teenagers, children have the sometimes-annoying habit of waking up at the buttcrack of dawn, full of energy. While their parents slumber in the last few moments of darkness before daybreak, their children are wide-eyed and running around the house without supervision.

However, it wasn’t mischief that these kids were after in the wee hours of the morning. Besides a giant bowl of Trix and a glass of pasteurized OJ, the only thing that mattered was CARTOONS.

Saturday mornings, in particular, were filled with a lineup of unforgettable, whacky animated entertainment to rot brains and influence violent behavior. Any child who grew up in the 90s remembers creeping out of bed and sneaking downstairs to catch these shows, and I’m sure they could easily rattle off a few favorites.

These were mine:

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Dedicated to the Ninja Turtles

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90s moviesOf all the wonderful franchises concocted by the fat, greasy, greedy swine in charge of coming up with products for children, the Ninja Turtles sit proudly at the top of the pile. Simultaneously the most entertaining 90s TV show, 90s toy brand, and 90s movie trilogy, this juggernaut of a cultural obsession showed that they were more than just Ninja Turtles. They were TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES.

Now, everyone is familiar with the origins of these adorable reptiles (hopefully), but for those who aren’t, it goes as follows. A man named Hamato Yoshi flees from Japan and ends up in New York city where, for some creepy reason, he decides to live in the sewers. One day, a careless child trips while carrying a fishbowl full of his pet turtles and spills them down into a sewer grate. Shortly thereafter, Hamato Yoshi stumbles upon the little turtle dudes while he is feeding his pet sewer rats. Curiously, the turtles are covered in a strange, glowing green ooze. The ooze is no ordinary green goo and instantly starts a strange chemical reaction in both Yoshi and the turtles. The turtles, having most recently come into contact with Yoshi, begin to turn human. Yoshi, having most recently been in contact with his pet rats, begins to turn into an overgrown, talking rat. Makes perfect sense, right?

As the turtles begin to grow and mature over the years, Yoshi trains them to master the art of ninjitsu. In addition to bestowing them with awesome ninja ass-kicking skills, Yoshi (adopting “Splinter” as his own new moniker) also gives them badass names in the spirit of his favorite renaissance painters. Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Leonardo are born.

90s moviesAlso, for good dramatic measure, an unforgettable villain is thrown into the mix. Oroku Saki, better known as the Shredder, is a thorn in Splinter’s side from back in Japan and followed him to America where he leads an evil criminal organization called the Foot Clan alongside a talking brain named Krang.

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